how to return home
by dream-of-belief
Summary: How Olivia Dunham returns home. 10/24 - "She looked away. He saw her shoulders tighten and watched as her face became a familiar mask. 'I...I can't do this.'"
1. all of the questions we call home

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Hey guys! I know, I know - long time, no see! So...Fringe is going to drive me crazy. I am positive that this season is going to kill me because I have become so utterly invested in what is happening on my television. I am so frustrated and in love with the writers right now. They are brilliant sadists.

**_Anyway -_ so, this story came into being because I have been obsessively trying to figure what the hell is going to happen when Olivia finally gets home. And plot bunnies are attacking me. And the hiatus is going to be too long. So, I've decided to create this story. It is my first Fringe fanfiction and will be a series of unrelated one-shots, each of which dealing in a different way that Olivia will return to our universe. I already have tons of ideas, but if you have any that you want to see written that you don't have time/don't want to/haven't seen, then let me know in a review and I'll see if I have any luck with it. **

**Also, I would really love feedback on A.) how believable you think each story is B.) if everyone is in character and C.) which ones you enjoy the most. I probably won't add to this story after Fringe returns, since it looks like Olivia will be returning soon afterwards. **

**_Disclaimer - if I owned Fringe, do you really think I would have let Altlivia get it on with Peter? I DON'T THINK SO. Also, I do not own the song "How to Return Home" by Kerrigan & Lowdermilk or the song "Shattered" by Trading Yesterday from which the titles for this story/chapter were derived._**

_**In this installment -**_** Peter avoids Olivia. _Spoilers for 304 Do Shapeshifters Dream of Electric Sheep?_**

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_**how to return home**_

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_**one: all of the questions we call home**_

Two weeks. Olivia had been home for two weeks.

It was strange. She had returned expecting the other _her_ to still be living her life. To still be fooling Peter and Walter and everyone. To still be living in _her_ house and wearing _her _clothes.

But she wasn't.

Olivia returned to find that the other Olivia Dunham had been locked away almost two weeks before she found her way home. It was a happy surprise. Olivia had not expected anyone to realise the truth. No one had realised that _she_ wasn't the _other_ Olivia over there. Not until the very end, anyway.

But they _had._

It was flattering and made her feel loved. It may have taken them two months to realise the truth, but they _did._ When she woke up in the hospital, Walter told her that Peter was the one who figured it out. No matter how hard she pressed, however, he would not tell her how he had discovered the truth or why he would not come and see her.

And that is what was _truly_ strange to Olivia. Peter had _never_ avoided her. Even when she had been hallucinating, he was always there to annoy her in some way.

She hated it.

She wanted to see him again. Talk to him. Feel him. Know that he was real and not a hallucination. She _needed_ to see him.

The other Olivia's memories were still very much a part of her mind. She _needed_ to see Peter – see him and be sure for the first time since escaping of who she was.

But he had not come. The doctors were _only just _releasing her. She still wasn't entirely sure why they had kept her for so long. She had been too preoccupied with questioning Walter and Astrid and wondering why Peter wasn't there.

Now, Olivia was _determined_ to see Peter. She would find out why he was avoiding her. She would make things _right_ again.

Walter had told her that he and Astrid would be at the lab to see if there was a way to rid her of the _other_ Olivia's memories. Olivia had confessed to him after awaking that sometimes she was not sure which memories were hers and which were not. For once, she was glad for Walter's penchant towards experimentation. Then he had told her that Peter would be at home and Olivia knew that Walter was more perceptive than anyone gave him credit for.

She did not bother knocking. She knew he would not answer. She had intended to pick the lock, but she found that the door was unlocked. The house was silent but, somehow, Olivia knew where Peter would be. She headed up the stairs, finding the door to his room closed. She took a deep breath and knocked before opening the door.

Peter was sitting on his bed, back to the door. His elbows were on his knees and he was bent over. "Go away, Walter," he murmured hoarsely.

"I'm not Walter," Olivia replied simply. He did not react except for a noticeable tightening in his shoulders. She did not move closer even though she wished he would turn around. There was a long pause in which Olivia studied Peter's back and the visible tenseness in his body. "You've been avoiding me."

He did not reply. Suddenly, Olivia was struck with a horrible notion. It gripped her and made breathing difficult and her chest tight. As she looked at Peter, the glimmer returned in her moment of fear.

"Why?" Her voice was desperate now. She had to know that she was overreacting. It couldn't be true. Not after everything. It _couldn't_ be true.

Still, he said nothing. It was enough for Olivia. She could feel herself start to tremble. _You were wrong. You were wrong._ The thought would not live her mind. It made her sick, made her angry, made her _lonely._

"You...you liked her better than me."

This did not cause the reaction she expected. Peter sprang to his feet, spinning on the spot. There were dark circles under his eyes and more scruff than usual on his chin. His brow was furrowed – she could not tell if it was in anger or confusion.

_"No,"_ he said firmly. _"No,_ Olivia, that's _not_ true."

She shook her head, avoiding his gaze. "It's okay. I...I'm not as easy to deal with. I...I understand."

Suddenly, he was in front of her, his hand under his chin to make her look at him. _"Stop_ it, Olivia. Just _stop._ This isn't because of _you."_

"Then why?" Her voice was still desperate. "Why, Peter? I...I needed you."

Guilt. She finally placed the look on his face. Not anger or confusion – _guilt._ He looked away and his hand returned to his side. "Because you're going to hate me."

Olivia was not naive enough to try and dissuade him. She knew he was stubborn. She also knew that she had never seen him so conflicted before. She knew he would tell her. She knew that he would fear her reaction (which only gave her the determination to make sure her reaction was not what he expected).

"I...I thought she was _you,_ 'Livia," he murmured. She had to bite back the small smile that wanted to form when he said her name. She had always loved how he said her name. Never shortening it further than the drop of the first syllable, a drop so subtle she almost didn't notice the first time he did it.

"I know." Her reply was soft and succinct.

"No, Olivia, you don't! _I_ _thought she was you! _I should have known! I should have realised! I shouldn't have –" Abruptly, he spun around, his fists clenched at his sides. Olivia blinked.

And she knew. She _knew_ why he was so upset. Why he looked so guilty. She needed to be sure, though. "You...you slept with her." It was neither a question nor an accusation. It was a statement. A fact. The only sign of anything amiss in her tone was the pitch – her voice was just slightly higher than normal.

She could see him tremble. "I'm sorry," he whispered brokenly. "I'm so sorry."

Olivia was not sure what to do. A part of her was angry – so very, very angry. She had not expected anyone to realise the difference, but she also did not expect Peter to be fooled so easily. That part of her wanted to leave, to walk from the house, from the man, from her _life,_ even. That part of her wanted to make the _other_ Olivia pay for what she had done to her life.

But a larger part of her could only see the man that hated himself for what he had done. She loved Peter – she did not see any point in denying _that_ anymore, not after being separated by universes and having visions of him pleading with her to remember herself. That part of her wanted only to reassure him that things would get better. That part of her wanted to make it clear that she did _not_ hate him and probably never could. That part of her wanted to make the _other_ Olivia pay for what she had done to _him._

And Olivia knew which part of her was right. She knew that even though she had every _right_ to be angry and hateful to everyone that it was not what was important now. She was _home._ She had _known_ that her alternate would cause damage. She had not expected things to be perfect once she returned home.

The choice was easy, really.

She took a step forward, touching Peter's shoulder lightly. Again, he made no reaction except for the telltale tightening of his shoulders. When he did not push her away, she moved closer. Her free hand reached out and forced its way into his clenched fist, making the muscles relax.

"We'll be okay," she murmured almost inaudibly. "We're...we're going to be fine."

Olivia knew that he did not believe her yet. But she could feel his relief. Beautiful, visible relief. His muscles relaxed and he leaned into her touch. "'Livia..." he murmured, tears making his voice thick.

"I'm here," she replied. "I'm here."

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**Let me know what you think! I adore feedback. And don't forget to let me know if there are any scenarios you would like to see pan out.**


	2. you are

__**Here's the next installment! I hope you guys enjoy this one. I know a couple of you reviewed that you thought the last one was a bit unrealistic and I do agree that it probably won't happen. _But_ I don't think it is completely out of the realm of possibilities. I think that Olivia would feel sympathetic for Altlivia in _some_ way because 1.) she's Olivia and is basically hardwired to understand how people function and 2.) has her memories and lived her life. So the last story was based off of that idea. **

**This one, however, is a bit more realistic. I hope you guys enjoy it! I had a lot of fun with this one and actually wrote the entirety of it while re-watching season two (I've been on a bit of a spree lately - I don't have the DVD's yet, so I'm watching them online. I'm almost done and then I'll be lost until November 4th). **

_**Disclaimer: If I owned Fringe, things wouldn't be nearly as intelligent or interesting. No one would watch it if I owned it, THEREFORE I do not own it. I also don't own the Kerrigan & Lowdermilk song or the song "Everything" by Lifehouse.**_

_**IN THIS INSTALLMENT:**_** When Olivia returns, things are far from easy. Spoilers up to 304.**

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**how to return home**

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_**two: you are**_

_...the strength_

Peter Bishop was nervous.

This was not something he was used to. He did not get nervous often. Now, however, he felt like he was nothing but nerves. Everything made him feel on edge. The lights of the hospital. The antibacterial smell. Walter's anxious looks.

When they reached the room, it took him a moment to get the nerve to open the door. He could feel Walter's gaze. After a moment, he opened the door slowly.

There she was. She had a familiar look on her face. She was looking out the window, her eyes wide and her mouth tight. He recognised the look immediately. _She's trying not to cry,_ he thought vaguely. _She knows. How does she know?_

She turned to look at him. She looked them over for a minute before she smiled that sad, broken smile where she bit her bottom lip. "Hey," she whispered.

Peter sighed and he gave her a small smile. "Hey."

She was silent for many moments. Peter didn't move and he noticed that Walter had not followed him inside. She looked him over.

"You thought she was me."

Her voice was soft and low. He wished that he could deny it, wish that he could make her sound less...broken. But he couldn't. He couldn't lie to her.

"I'm sorry." He wasn't sure what else he could say.

She looked away. He saw her shoulders tighten and watched as her face became a familiar mask.

"I...I can't do this."

His stomach dropped and he nodded. "I understand." He could hear how his voice sounded and hated it.

But he had lost her.

He _lost_ her.

He looked at her, trying to take everything in. He knew very well this could be the last time he had the chance to really see her. If she decided it was over, then it was over. She would find a way to stop it. To stop any kind of relationship between them.

He tried to catalogue every piece of her. Every little thing that made up who she was. Every little thing that he had convinced himself was in the _other _Olivia when it was not. It was too much. His chest felt to tight, his head to heavy. He wondered vaguely what was wrong with him. He looked at her, and he suddenly realised what was wrong.

He felt like he did not belong.

He didn't _belong._

_He didn't belong._

The crushing realisation was unbearable. "I'm sorry," he said again. His voice sounded foreign to his ears. He left the room. He was not wanted anymore. He did not _belong_ anymore.

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_...everything_

She had not spoken to him since the hospital. Not really, anyway. She still allowed him to work with her, but he never left the lab anymore.

He hated it.

He was always on the verge of running. Every night he would sit on his bed fully-clothed. He would sit and make the choice of whether to change clothes and try to sleep or to leave. To run and not look back.

But where would he go? He belonged with Olivia. He _knew_ that he belonged with her. He never felt more at home than when he was with her.

He belonged with her. Even if she did not belong with him.

He _wanted_ to run. He wanted to run more than he ever had before. But he couldn't. Even if Olivia didn't want him anymore, even if she hated him – he had to stay. Because it was where he belonged.

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_...the hope_

It had not been a good week.

The case had been a difficult one. Walter hadn't slept for days. Astrid was ready to snap. Olivia had been on edge for a reason he couldn't understand. Peter had been kidnapped again.

Now he was stuck in the hospital. Again.

He _hated_ hospitals.

When he heard the door to his room open, he had expected Walter to come and fuss over him. He turned and was surprised to see that it was not Walter.

It was Olivia.

She was biting her lip. He watched as she tried to look him over without meeting his eye. "Are you okay?" Her voice was soft and sounded almost unsure to Peter's ears.

He nodded. "I'm fine." He paused and smirked. "Any chance you could break me out of here?"

She did not reply. She still avoided his gaze. He sighed and turned to look out the window once more.

"You don't have to be here, Olivia. I'm fine." His voice was hard and defeated.

He was looking away, so he did not see her brow furrow. "You want me to go?"

Peter looked up with a frown. "No. But don't you _want_ to go?"

He watched as she bit her lip and shifted her weight. Her hands were shoved into the pockets of her coat. "No."

Peter blinked in shock. _Stop it,_ he thought to himself. _Don't get your hopes up._

"You want to sit, then?"

He watched as she looked around the room, biting her lip again. After a moment, she nodded slightly. She moved slowly and sat in the chair by the window. She sat stiffly and still avoided his gaze, but Peter was more relaxed. She was _there. _This was the first time that Olivia was willing to be in his presence. The first time she had been alone with him since the hospital.

"Aren't you going to say something?"

Peter looked up to see that Olivia was finally looking at him. He met her gaze steadily. "What do you want me to say?"

She blinked and frowned. "Something," she said strongly. "Anything."

The corner of his mouth quirked up in the semblance of a smile. "I'll tell you anything you want to know, Olivia." He paused. "You just have to ask."

She nodded and looked down. He did not expect her to say anything. After a few moments, she _did_ speak, though. "Why did you think she was me?"

Peter sighed. "Because I wanted to believe she was you." She looked up and met his eye. "I convinced myself that all the differences were because of everything that had happened. I told myself that I was seeing things. I...I was convincing myself that everything was fine." He met her gaze, hiding nothing. "I should have seen, Olivia. I'm sorry."

She nodded slightly and looked down again. Peter knew that she would leave now. She would go and everything would be horrible and tense again.

He was surprised once again when she spoke. "I came back for you," she said in a horribly soft voice. "When I thought I was her, I kept seeing you. You would tell me that I couldn't forget where I was from."

Peter felt his jaw tighten and had to look away. "I'm sorry, Olivia."

He heard a familiar sound and looked up. She was _laughing._ Or, at least, the short little exhale that was her deigning to laugh.

"You can stop apologising, Peter." He was shocked by the sound of her voice – she sounded almost _normal._ It had been a long time since he had heard her sound so much like herself. So unburdened.

He studied her for a moment and could see a familiar glint in her eye. It was the first time he had seen her eyes look anything but pained. It confused him. "Olivia?"

She met his gaze. "I...I can't say things can be the same between us or that I'm ready yet, but..." She paused and he was forcibly reminded of another time that she struggled for words. "We're gonna be fine, Peter."

He looked at her seriously for a moment before smiling. He couldn't help but feel hopeful when she returned it.

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...all I want

Peter ran up the steps to her apartment quickly. Her phone call had scared him. She had only been able to say that she needed help. He threw the door open and sprinted to her apartment. He forced the door open, afraid when he didn't hear her behind the door.

"Olivia? Olivia, where are you?"

She did not answer. He looked around frantically, looking for signs of a struggle.

Nothing. Nothing was out of place.

"Olivia?"

Before he could react, he was tackled to the ground. His head cracked against the wall audibly and he groaned. The attacker scrambled off of him and he heard the click of a gun.

"Where am I?"

Peter blinked. "Olivia?" His voice was full of confusion. "Olivia, it's me: Peter."

A light clicked on and Peter saw Olivia standing over him, gun in hand. Except it wasn't Olivia. Not really.

_Shit,_ he thought. _Which Olivia is this?_

When her eyes focused on him she swore loudly. "What the _hell_ do you want? Why won't you just leave me alone?"

Peter looked at her in confusion. His mind worked a mile a minute. He could see that this was definitely _his_ Olivia. Her hair still bore a hint of the dyed red that her alternate had covered with blonde. But why was she _acting_ like the other?

_"When I thought I was her, I kept seeing you." _Isn't that what she had said in the hospital? _When she thought she was her._ The memories – the false memories of the _other _Olivia must have overcome her. That's why she called him – she could feel that she was losing control.

"Olivia, put the gun down."

Her gaze narrowed. "You're just in my head," she said firmly. "What does it matter? It can't hurt you."

He shook his head. "I'm real, Olivia. You're home. You are where you belong."

"What are you talking about?"

He stood slowly. "You are home, Olivia. They tried to make you believe you were the other Olivia. But you aren't. You're home and you're where you belong."

She scoffed. "And where do I _belong,_ Bishop?"

He smiled and there was only the barest hint of a smirk. "You belong with me."

He watched as her hand shook and the gun lowered. Her eyes flitted around and he could tell the exact moment when _his_ Olivia was in control again. She looked up at him, her eyes confused.

"Peter?" Her voice was soft and disoriented. She looked at him pleadingly.

He smiled. "You're okay, sweetheart," he murmured, stepping closer. "You're gonna be fine."

She looked at the gun in her hand and looked at him, horror in her eyes. "I hurt you."

He shook his head. "I'm fine." He watched as she turned, trying to make sense of what happened. "Olivia," he said, grabbing her arm gently. She looked up at him, her eyes watery.

"Peter, I don't – "

He cut her off, his hand cupping her cheek and making her look at him. "It's _fine_, Olivia. Everything is going to be _fine."_

Her face crumpled and she leaned towards him. He met her, pulling her close and wrapping his arms around her. He felt her shake and held her closer. He whispered in her ear, trying to calm her. After a few moments, she pulled away enough to see his face.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I'm sorry, Peter, I..."

He smiled and tucked her hair behind her ear, straightening the strands. He grinned and made her meet his eye. "You can stop apologising, Olivia," he said, mimicking her.

She did not smile. Her gaze raked over his face and he was completely surprised when she leaned forward quickly, kissing him roughly. He held her close, trying to show her that everything would be okay.

And it would. She was here. She was herself. She would be fine. _They_ would be fine.

When she pulled away, she smirked. "I belong with you, huh?"

He grinned widely. "Didn't you know? Turnabout's fair play."

She laughed and he couldn't help but kiss her again.

They were going to be fine.

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**Thanks for reading! And if it catches your fancy, you can go ahead and drop me a review.**


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